Rather Be With You
by DizzyBaby
Summary: When Troy breaks up with Sharpay because he see her for who she really is, he finds comfort in his best friend. What if Sharpay sees the two guys kissing? Can they ever be together or will life get in their way? Troy/Chad.
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah this is a really random story that came to me one day after I had broken up with my girlfriend. It's Troy x Sharpay and Troy/Chad. Don't like slash, don't read, although there isn't much.**

I see her walking down the corridor, her golden hair flying out behind her as she goes, her signature scowl playing on her features. The Ice Princess. My heart stops and I know I'm shaking. Since when was I scared of her? Oh yeah, since I'm about to break her heart.

But then I forget about her, about everything, when Chad smiles at me. I know it's so wrong, he's my best friend, but, I can't stop thinking about him. His flawless brown skin, his bushy afro that I long to run my fingers through. I look away, it's too much, the ache in my chest that has been there too long. I don't care if that makes me gay, I just want him so badly, it's almost torture to see him with Taylor. Pretending to be happy for him when I want to be the one who kisses those big tempting lips.

I groan as Sharpay spots me by my locker, and the scowl is replaced by a genuine smile. And then I can't breathe, she's coming over. Her whole worlds about to come crashing down, and she's completely oblivious.

'Hey Troy! How are you?' She asks happily, leaning in to kiss me. My quick reaction time means I turn my head just before her lips reach mine, and she kisses my cheek instead. Pulling back, I see her brows furrow in confusion for a second, before she smiles again, but this time it's fake.

'Er, Sharpay, can I talk to you?'

'Sure, honey' She says sweetly, but there's an under tone of concern.

I pull her into an empty classroom and my heart is banging against my rib cage. Why did I get involved with her? I could have stopped all this along time ago. Her brown eyes are starring up at me, questioning, and I almost back out. Then the thought of Chad pops into my head, and it comes blurting out.

'I can't do this. I can't keep lying to you, giving you false hope of a love that isn't really there, if it ever was' I can't quite meet Sharpays eyes, because I know the hurt and tears I'll find there. I take a deep breathe and continue, knowing it had to happened.

'I don't love you, Sharpay. I've known that for a while. It was just lust, clouding my senses, making me think you were the most amazing person in the world. They say love is blind, and I was when it came to you. But now I can see clearly, see you for the person you really are.'

I chance a look at her, and I'm surprised to see she isn't crying, just looking at me in a distant way, her eyes glazed over to hide what she was really feeling. Maybe this isn't so bad after all. At least she hasn't hit me yet.

'Just because you don't care about peoples feelings, doesn't mean I don't. I know you love me, in your own bittersweet way. But I'm hurting you every time I turn my head when you try to kiss me, so you'll kiss my cheek instead. Every time I make yet another excuse not to see you. You shrug it off, but I know it hurts and confuses you, and I'm sorry just because I was too afraid to tell you how I really feel for too long. I know you know things aren't right between us any more, and maybe you saw this coming. But, Sharpay' I take her hand in mine, and she stares down at it, rather than at me.

'It's over between us, if it ever started. I can't keep lying to you about how I feel because that's not fair. You know the truth now, and I'm sorry if it hurts you. But in the long run, it's for your own good, because I would have kept lying, and you would have kept on getting your heart broken by me. I'm so sorry.' I finish, and remember to breathe again.

The silence in the room is too loud, making it all too obvious she hasn't replied, or said a single word since I started. 'S-Sharpay?'

She looks at me as if she's seeing me for the first time, but there is devastation written across her features. 'I knew you didn't love me' She states sadly, and it wasn't just her heart breaking then, it was mine too. The words sink in. _She knew all along_. She carried that on her shoulders, and still acted like everything was fine when she was near-dying inside.

'Oh, God, I'm sorry' I mutter, because I knew what it felt like to love someone, and them to not love you back. It hurt like hell. I try to pull her into my arms, but she pushes me off.

'_Don't _touch me.' She says through gritted teeth, the anger coming through into her voice.

'Ooh, sorry' I back away, giving her space.

'Stop saying you're sorry, Troy. You're not. You just lead me on, thinking it was all just a big joke. Didn't matter if I got hurt, because the Ice Princess doesn't have feelings!' She spat angrily, her eyes shining.

'No, I never meant…' I pleaded desperately.

She rolled her eyes. 'Oh, save it. You can't stand me.' I watched as a single tear slid down her cheek. I'd never seen her cry before, she always seemed so strong. Sharpay wiped it away, disguised. Her hand collides with my cheek in a sharp _crack, _and I can't blame her. 'I wish I hadn't wasted my heart on you, Troy Bolton' She whispered, and my heart clenched. As she ran out of the room, I felt awful. I sat down on a desk, and curled up, resting my head in my hands, trying to convince myself I did the right thing_._

It feels like hours later when i hear footsteps coming towards me on the polished floor. At first I think it's Ryan, coming to hurt me like I'd hurt his the person smelt of sweat and the distinted smell of the gym. Chad. I look up and see his big brown eyes staring down at me.

'You OK, man?' He asks, his hand on my shoulder. I nod weakly. Why is he asking if I'm OK? Sharpays the one who had her heart broken.

I can't take my eyes off him. The concern and love for me is written on his face, and his lips are pouting slightly, like they always do when he's upset. It's too adorable, too much. The adrenaline is pumping through my veins, I don't feel myself, I'm almost floating on air all of a sudden. I'm on my feet, I'm moving, and before I can stop, I'm pressing my lips against his. Shit. I keep my eyes closed, with my hand cupping his cheek, almost too scared to move away from him to see his reaction. His lips are soft, like I knew they would be, but don't kiss me back, like I knew he wouldn't. I step back, blushing furiously, my eyes burning with unshead tears of rejection.

'I-I-I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.' I stammer. I was going to loose my best friend over one silly little kiss because I had no self control.

'Yeah. You shouldn't have.' He says coldly.

'TROOOY! What the hell was that?!' An all too famaliar voice screaches from the door way. I turn to find Sharpay standing there, gawping at us in disbelief.

:)

**Did Sharpay see? If so, how will she react? What will Chad do? Find out....only with reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_OK, this was alot darker than I intended it to be. But I hate the fact that Troy Bolton is treated like a God in the film, so I wrote this to 'bring him down' so to speak. Thank you to the people who reviewed. WARNING: This has strong swearing and implied slash!_**

Oh shit. Did she see? Judging by the look on her face, I'd say she did. Shit. Do excuse me while I go jump off a bridge.

She's staring at us, eyes wide and baffled. "Is this why you dumped me? Cos you wanted to go bang your best friend? Well you coulda told me the truth!" She screeches, and I want to crawl under a rock and never come out.

"Hey, there'll be no banging _anyone _around here, as far as I'm concerned" Chad says flatly, and my heart sinks. He doesn't feel the same way. Damn it. I want to kick something, I'm such an idiot. Theres a smirk and a malicious look on Sharpays face that I don't like the look of. I can practically hear her planning something in her twisted head to get back at me.

"Aw, poor Troy! Turns out his best friend _isn't _gay after all!" Sharpay says in a nauseatingly phony sweet voice, and I want to hit her. Why did she have to see of all people?

"Can't you go back to crying your eyes out over me and leave us alone?" I say harshly. I need to talk to Chad, I need to explain. He's my world, I can't loose him. God, I'm so stupid! I had enough self control _not_ to kiss him for 2 years, why did I go and ruin that today?

"Ohh no, I'm not going anywhere. This is going to be _classic_! Troy Bolton, the basket ball star, coming out the closet" She says victoriously, crossing her arms over her chest, smirking.

"Ugh!" I exclaim, and kick the table out of the way, startling her. "I hate you, I don't know why I ever went out with you!"

She stepped closer to me, glaring hard. "Because I'm the best damn thing that ever happened to you, and you know it! You were no one till you met me"

"I don't _care_ about stupid popularity contests! What I _do _care about is whether my best friend will ever talk to me again" I say, looking desperately at Chad. There is still shock written across his face.

"Sharpay, please leave. Or I will make you" Chad says flatly. Sharpay stamps her foot, annoyed, but leaves anyway. I breathe a sigh of relieve, and step forward. Chad backs away. "Stay where you are. I don't want you kissing me again?" My heart sinks. He can't stand me, doesn't even want me close to him. Oh God.

"So you don't...Well I was kinda hoping....you liked me?" I finish lamely, for words have left me. I only thing I can think of is 'He hates me' repeating over and over.

"Troy" He sighs. Here it comes, he's going to try and let me down gently. I've seen him do this exact thing with girls he wants to break up with. I've ruined everything. "Do you remember when that time when we were 14, and we'd spent the entire night watching slasher movies, and I was terrified out of my wits at every noise?"

Oh God, don't bring that up, I mentally plead. I reluctantly nod, that night ingrained into my memory. The night when I discovered what it felt like to run my finger tips over flawless dark skin, what it felt like to have your best friend pushed against a wall, pleading for more. I suddenly shiver, the memory still so strong after all those years. I couldn't--I wouldn't--banish that astonishing feeling of pleasure to the back of my mind, like Chad had appeared to have done.

"I told you I loved you that night" Chad says, so quiet, so vulnerable.

"I know" I'm blushing, I can feel my cheeks getting red. I'm not proud of my behaviour that night, every time I think of it, I want to cry in shame. I was such a jerk.

"You told me to get the hell away from you." He says flatly, but I can hear the angry behind his words. I drop my gaze to the floor, guilty. "You said you weren't gay, when _you_ were the one who touched _me _first, who started the whole thing off!" His voice is raised, something he very rarely does. I know he hasn't forgiven me for that night. I haven't forgiven myself, my reaction in my more often then not in nightmares. Almost every night, he's there, half naked, looking so small, tears steaming down his face and his heart breaking as I yell homophobic abuse at him. I wish I could erase the image from my mind, but I guess that is my punishment.

"I'm sorry" I whisper, and because we've never talked about that night before, I've never had the chance to say it.

"Sorry doesn't cut it. So don't you dare fucking tell me you have feelings for me _now. _Not after that night." His voice is cold and harsh, and I don't blame him.

"Chad..." I reach out to touch his arm, but he recoils in disgust.

"Don't. And before you say it, no, I won't and I can't have those feelings for you again. I'm not dragging them back up just because you're suddenly interested, Troy, it's not fair"

I nod, unable to speak. I'm sickened at myself, how could I have ever acted that way to him? Why didn't I realise I liked him sooner? UGH! I want to bang my head against the wall, knock some sense into me.

"So now you can know what it felt like to be me. To watch the guy you love kiss that stupid Ice Princess without a second thought. It hurts, Troy, I'll make sure you know that" He's shaking with anger, and I'm scared. I don't know if I can deal with this.

"I didn't mean to hurt yo..."

"Oh save it. We both know you didn't give a damn about my feelings. Just so long as Troy Bolton kept up his precious reputation. Well I hope your happy." He pushes past me and out of the room, and it all becomes too much. I sink to the floor, the tears finally spilling over, my body racked with harrowing sobs. But I know I well and truly deserve this, so I let my sorrow continue through the snide remarks and taunts from people who Sharpay has obviously told I'm gay.

The words 'Fag' and 'Poof' swirl around in my mind, making the bubbles of angry rise up through me. Then I can't take anymore, I snap, and punch a guy I don't know on the nose. The satisfying crunch of his bone breaking and the gasps of horror from the class is more than enough. Now they realise East Highs Golden Boy isn't so perfect after all, I'm just as fucked up as the rest of them. I've fallen from my pedestal, and I couldn't care less. There is a twisted smile on my face as I make my way to basket ball practice....

**_Reviews=love! Thanks for reading._**


	3. Now Chapter 3

_**Warning: Lots of swearing and slight slash ahead!**_

I watch the guy I used to call my best friend, Troy Bolton, as he lights yet another cigarette. I shake my head in disgust and disappointment. He's really gone off the rails this past month since we had the argument that effectively ended our life long friendship. He got suspended from school for a week for punching some guy for no reason, and last thing I heard, he was seen in the rest room snorting a line of coke. He doesn't even bother coming to basketball practise now, and his dad has been going mad at him. It's like he doesn't care about anything or himself anymore, and I know I shouldn't be worried about him after everything he's done to me, but I am. I don't want him to end up dead in a gutter some place.

I glance at Taylor, Zeke and Jason, and they're watching him too, confusion etched on their faces. They're concerned about him, they used to be his friends too until he ignored everyone who tried to talk to him, even me. Now he just skulks around school alone, when he actually bothers showing up that is.

The entire school was completely shaken by his change of behaviour; he used to be the Golden Boy who everyone loved, and now he's just a disgrace who even the teachers are scared of in case he lashes out.

I'm not blaming myself for his behaviour, how was I supposed to know he'd end up like this? He always seemed so strong and able to work out any difficulties in his life. I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought, or maybe I just meant more to him than I realised.

The head cheerleader and the school slut, Ami, saunters up to Troy and started snogging his face off. It's like he's trying to prove he's not gay by sleeping with any girl who will have him.

I sigh gloomily and tear my eyes away from the train wreck of a boy I used to know. I just hope he comes to his senses soon and cleans up his act before he ruins his life for good...

**_:)_**

Who knew it felt so good to have people look at you in disgust, rather than amazement? I think they're finally getting that I'm not perfect, but I keep pushing it further so that everyone in this pathetic school knows that I'm Troy Bolton; the alcoholic, drug taking, womanizing, screw up. And, God, it feels fucking amazing to have fallen from their high expectations and admirations, and became their nightmare. I hear them whispering as I pass them in the corridor, some think I'm having a nervous break down or a teen life crisis. I smirk, maybe they're right. I've been far too good for far too long. Time I started living. Cue evil laughter.

'Troy, where are you?' Dads nagging voice shouts through the house, and I groan. Lecture time again. I stuff the bottle of vodka into my pocket and duck outside onto the basketball court, and he's soon there too. His face is red and his eyes are shinning in anger.

'Why weren't you at basket ball practice again? Troy, you haven't been in a month!'

'I don't care' I mutter, and slip the cigarette packet out of my pocket. He frowns and snatches them off me. 'Hey, give them back!' I exclaim, trying to get them out of his grasp.

'I told you to stop smoking and focus on getting ready for the big game next week!'

'What part of I don't care, don't you get?'

His jaw drops in bewilderment and I smirk. Finally getting it now are we, dad? Your son isn't the guy you thought he was.

'What happened to you Troy?' He says quietly.

'I was sick of being perfect all the time. It's so...boring. I changed, I grew up.'

'You think smoking and all night parties are growing up? It's not, it's very childish and you have to stop'

'Fuck off, dad!' I yell, and he gasps in shock. I've never sworn at him before but I'm done with kissing his ass.

'Don't use that kind of language in this house! You're off the team until I get my son back.'

'I am your son, dad. I'm just through with being the nice guy'

'Why are you being like this? I know you and Chad had an argument, do you want to talk about it?'

His name jolts me for a second, but then I remember what he did. A wave of anger sweeps through me. I hate him. 'No, what I _do_ want is for you to fuck off and leave me alone'

Dad stares at me, shaking his head in disbelief. 'I don't know where all this attitude has come from, but you better loose it _right now'_

I scoff, and draw myself up to full height. 'Or what? Do you really think kicking me off the team makes me give a shit?'

He throws his arms up in frustration, and opens and closes his mouth several times, as if he was going to speak, before storming off back inside the house. I chuckle to myself and perfectly lob a ball into the net. He's so pathetic he can't even stand up to me. Glancing at my watch, I decide to go and get ready for the party tonight.

**_:)_**

'Ry, can you get that? It's probably a guest!' I call from the kitchen where I'm adding the finishing touches to the food, I am a perfectionist after all. I hear voices in the lounge, people are here. I check my appearance in the mirror and smile approvingly. I look hot in my strapless turquoise sparkly dress and matching heels. Winking at myself, I breath deeply and allow a small to form on my glossy lips as I saunter into the lounge to meet our guests. I glare at Ryan, mentally telling him to put the music on. Call it twin-tuition, but realisation eventually dawns on his face, and he rushes over to the music player. I smile as a upbeat dance number comes on, lightening the atmosphere slightly.

I hear the door bell go, and Ryan is too engrossed in a conversation with Kelsi (ugh!) to notice. I excuse myself and make for the door. I gasp when on the other side is none other than my ex, Troy. His eyelids are heavy and he smells like he's taken a bath in alcohol, which wouldn't surprise me if he had. He's drunk, again. I try to think of a time this past month when he _hasn't_ been drunk, and I frown when I realise he has been every time I've seen him.

'What are you doing here?' I ask strictly, as I didn't invite him.

'I cames to partay, darrrrrling' He slurs, a twinkle of something I don't like the look of in his eyes. Oh God, why did I ever like him, he's turned into a right mess.

'Well, you weren't invited, so go away' I say hastily, shutting the door behind me as I step out into the chilly night.

'Aww come mon Shar. I won't cause ansy trsouble' He can barely stand, he's gripping onto the wall to hold himself up. God, he's in a sorry state.

'Yeah right, _you_ are the definition of trouble' I huff, crossing my arms across my chest.

'Ands you, you arrre the definishion of hawt.' He replies, running his eyes over my body in an uncomfortable way.

'Well of course, but you have to leave _now_' I insist, taking hold of his arm and dragging him down the pathway.

'I jus got here!'

'Troy, fuck off, I don't want you here!' I exclaim, and he falls silent. His eyes bore into mine, and I see a flicker of irritation and hurt. Then he shakes me off him, and stumbles down the path and through my door before I can stop him. He can move fast for a drunk guy. Everyone stops dancing and stare at him, and I can see fear on a few peoples faces. 'Ryan, a little help please!' I exclaim, and my brother comes rushing over, trying to bundle Troy outside.

'Troy?' A small voice cuts through the silence. I turn, and swear when my eyes land on the person who spoke. Chad. Oh boy, this is not going to end well.

**_:)_**

'Troy?' I whisper, pushing through the crowd, unable to believe my eyes. He's got worst. We lock eyes for the first time since we had that argument, and I know he's hurting deep down. But now all I can see his anger in his eyes, radiating out of him. This is no time to start a serious talk with him, but I have to try and make him see sense. The guests start slowly backing out of the room, sensing something was going to go down between us, and they didn't want to be around when it started.

'Oh fush off Chad' He mutters, attempting to make it to the table where the alcohol was kept. It was the first time we had actually said more than two words to each other in a month. I take a deep breath and step determinedly into Troy's path, blocking his way.

'Troy, you're not having anymore to drink, you've had too much' We're standing inches apart now, I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He's glaring at me. This is all very much like a stand off, seeing who snaps and shoots the other first. The moment drags on forever, as if time is slowed down. Troy eventually snaps, and his fist smashes into my jaw. Pain explodes and I stumble backwards. It's been a long time coming. His eyes are wide in shock, and I knew he could still feel remorse.

I can hear the guests gasping, and some are cheering us on. Without thinking, I leap forwards and punch him in the nose. It hurts my hand, but I know it's got to hurt him more. Good.

The shock in his eyes is quickly replaced by anger, and then he's raging towards me, and I barely have time to protect my stomach as his fist slams into me. My breath is knocked from me, and I'm doubled over, but I managed to knee him in between his legs. He groans, and while he's blinded by pain, I grab his shoulders and push him backwards. He flies straight into the drinks table, smashing bottles and cracking the wooden table, sending alcohol spilling on the carpet. He's sitting in the middle of it all, surrounded by glass, his hand is bleeding.

I stand there, my face emotionless as I stare down at him. I hope I had showed him the pain of having your best friend reject you and stamp all over your heart.

Sharpays shouting something in my face, but I can't hear it. All I'm focused on is Troy. A tidal wave of remorse washes over me, and I sway on the spot. I had physically hurt him. I never meant to do that, I just got caught up in the moment. Oh God.

'Troy' My voice is broken and I rush over to him. He's stares up at me, his blue eyes wide and full of tears, like a child who has been punished, and I want to break down right there and then.

'You made me cut myself' He whispers softly, examining his hand like he'd never seen blood before.

'I-I'm sorry'

'Chad, take Troy and get the fuck out of my house before you cause anymore damage' Sharpay yells, pulling me to my feet by my ear. Ouch. I attempt to wrap my arm around Troys shoulders to steady him, but he pushes me away and staggers out the house. I mutter an apology and run after him. I call his name as he attempts to quickly get away from me, but I know in his drunken state he won't be able to manage the walk home.

'Troy, will you just stop and listen to me?!' I exclaim, standing in the road as he continues to struggle on, tripping over his own feet.

'I tol' you t' fush offs Chad' He mumbles and I frown in confusion. Why is he pushing me away? I sure we could have gotten over that whole messy incident if he had just tried. Maybe if I had tried harder too, admittedly.

'Why are you being like this? Why did you change?' I ask quietly, knowing the time for talking has finally arrived. I just hope he remembers it in the morning.

He spins around, his eyes flaring in anger and raw emotion. 'Oh, isit no' obvious?"

I frown and shake my head. He scoffs at me. "I thought I knew you. But even I would have never guessed you'd do something like this"

"What, cos you're so used to seeing me as a good guy?"

"I always thought you were. So what is this really all about?"

"Jesus, Chad do you actually have a brain under all that hair? I'm in fucking love with you but you rejected me' He confesses and suddenly I can't breathe. Oh my God. I was not expecting that. 'D'ya fink I like t' idea of being...of being a fag? Cos I don't. Jesus chrissst, Chad, I jus wanna be normal.' He stumbles forward, and roughly pushes me in the chest. From underneath his hood, I can see his eyes are shinning just like the drenched pavements reflecting the bright moon. 'And 's all your fault 'm not'

**_:)_**

**_How will Chad react? Will he feel the same? Will he tell Troy to clean up this act? Find out in the next chapter, only with reviews!_**

**_So, thank you to everyone who told me to continue this, it's been fun to write!_**


	4. Chapter 4

_From underneath his hood, I can see his eyes are shinning just like the drenched pavements reflecting the bright moon. 'And 's all your fault 'm not'_

His words are like a crushing blow, and it's as if they've physically been dug into my heart. He blames me, he blames me for screwing up his life. All I did was love him, right from the beginning. I force down bitter laughter as I know we wouldn't be having this problem if I was female.

We stare at each other for what seems like an eternity as I am unable to speak, the sound of our heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard. A soft pitter patter begins against the pavement, and as my clothes get damp, I realise its starting to rain. My eyes return to Troy, as they always do. The hair that isn't hidden by his hood is lifelessly hanging around his face and there is still a trace of blood underneath his nose. His skin is gleaming as drops of rain, and, my heart stops, tears skim down his cheeks, his eyebrows furrowed. I have never seen such a beautiful sight as an cross, heart broken, rain soaked Troy Bolton. Acting on impulse and pent up lust, I close the gap between us and capture his lips with mine. I know he's not going to reject me this time, as he pulls me close, one hand wraps around my neck and disappears into my hair. His lips are rough and reckless against mine and I part my lips to allow his tongue to slip into my mouth. He tastes of vodka and cigarettes and the bitterness of blood; an intoxicating mix that I don't think I'll get enough of.

The rain is falling heavily on us now, making his skin feel silky underneath my hands. He breaks the kiss and suddenly a wave of fear rushes over me. What now?

His eyes have transformed into two dark orbs which remain fixed on me. I swallow down a whole load of questions I've been dying to ask him, for now is not the time.

''See you 'morrow then, I guessh'' He slurs, stepping backwards.

''Wait, what?'' I blurt out, confused. Was he just going to forget this ever happened? I wasn't going to put up with that again. He has his back to me and is walking away. ''Troy?!''

''What?!'' He yells, spinning around again, but keeps his distance. ''Jus cos we kissed, doesn't mean every fing is OK again. I've fucked up, you've fucked up.''

''Oh, tell me how I've fucked up, exactly? At least I'm not out every night fucking some random girl while completely pissed and high!''

''Oh fur fukks sake, I don't need a lecture now, Chad.''

I scoff in disbelief, shaking my head. ''I don't...'' I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to keep calm, but it all comes bubbling over. ''What the fuck is wrong with you?! You say you love me, then treat me like shit. Again!''

''Wha's the point in having theze feelingz fur you? S'not like we can ever be together''

''Why not?''

''I'll give you 3 good reasons why not'' Troy held up three fingers, screwing up his eyes so he could focus on them. ''One, My dad. He's the most homo...homophobic person ever. Two, you won't allow it after every fink I've done to you. And three, I won't allow it''

I frown. Why would he think I wouldn't allow us to be together? ''If we can't be together, then what was the point in telling me?!''

He shrugs dismissively. ''Jus thought sshould know''

''Stop fucking with my head, Troy! You know what, I wouldn't want a alcoholic drugged up womaniser as a boyfriend anyway. Sort yourself out if you ever want me to speak to you again. Cos right now, I'm sick of this Troy. I want the old Troy back'' I spit, and storm off down the road, not bothering to look back when he calls my name, I'm too angry.

I should have known. I should have known better, damn it. I thought I could trust him never to hurt me, but then again, that's exactly what he's been doing for the last few months. I wish I could just forget him. He's not worth it. He doesn't want me. I need to get over him. I keep repeating this over and over in my head like a manta, but then the memory of Troy's lips against mine flashes through my mind so vividly I swear it's happening again. Then I can't stop the tears from flooding down my cheeks. Oh God, why did he have to bring these feelings up again? I buried them last time because they hurt so bad, but this is ten times as bad.

My feet have brought me to my room without me realising, and I collapse down onto my bed and sob into and punch my pillow most of the night. Just as the sun is beginning to rise, my cell phone ringing startles me out of my thoughts. I don't recognise the number, but I answer it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Chad?" I can tell straight away that it's Troy's mother on the other end. She sounds upset. "Chad...are you OK?"

"No." I reply truthfully. "Why are you calling me? I don't know where Troy is"

"...We do. He's..." There's a long pause on the line and nothing could have prepared me for what came next. "Troy's in a critical condition in h-hospital. He might not...he might not make it through the day"


	5. Chapter 5

**Ahh I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated! So busy with coursework right now. Anyway, thanks for the reviews so far! **

**WARNING: Strong swearing, alcohol abuse and implied slash. Don't like, don't read.**

The Vodka burns as it makes its way down my throat, the only way to numb the pain for awhile before it hits me again like a great big fucking tidal wave. My vision is blurred by tears I refuse to shed. Fuck. I stare down at the bottle and its toxic content responsible for hundreds of teenage deaths, and I know I'll end up like him if I keep this up. This is my way of grieving; getting completely drunk. I can't just sit at home and cry like normal people. Everything about me is different, so why not this too?

Sitting on the swings we used to play on doesn't help things, I realise that. But it's where I feel closest to him. Here he was the guy I knew and understood, before the complicated emotions of adolescence kicked in. Before he changed. When we were kids playing here, we could pretend to be anyone we wanted to be. I guess he never truly stopped pretending.

God, I miss him so much. I know he was a lousy friend during the last few months, but a few months is nothing compared to 14 years of brilliant memories and unforgettable times. He really was just like a brother I never had. To think he'll never be slouched on my sofa listening to his appalling music at full volume again is something I can't get my head around.

I take another swig from the bottle. I've drunk too much and swallowing is beginning to hurt. I'm glad he's in a place where he can't feel pain anymore.

The doctors say Troy may never wake up. It's been 3 months since that night when he slipped into a coma brought on by alcohol poisoning. I'm not holding my breath for his recovery. I sat by his bed side every day during the first month, just watching him. Now I've lost all hope and faith. He might as well be dead because he's passed out cold, wired up to a machine that's keeping him alive. The repetitive beep of the heart rate monitor is his only life sign.

I regret my last words to him, of course I do. But I've apologised to him repeatedly since, hoping maybe it'll work it's way into his subconscious. He probably can't hear me though. None of this would have happened if I made sure he got home safely that night. Fuck.

I raise the bottle to my lips and finish the last of the Vodka. Out here in the February night air, I can see my breath but I can't feel the cold. Like there's a invisible protective barrier around me, stopping me feeling anything.

I'm only aware that I have company when a timid voice speaks to me through the darkness. I turn my head, but that causes everything to go blurry, so I shut my eyes instead and rest my forehead against the cool chain of the swing.

"Hey Tay" I reply, and I'm sure I'm slurring my words quite badly.

"I thought I might find you here. I've been ringing your cell. Come on, you've got to come with me, Chad." She says hastily, pulling me to my feet.

"Why? Where's we going?" She wraps her arms around my shoulders once she realises I can't stand on my own. I cling to her to stop me from falling down as we start walking.

"The hospital"

I push her away from me, swaying slightly. She's not taking me there. "No, no, no, no. I don'ts wanna to go there"

"Troy's your best friend!"

"He was, til he turned into a unmoving, unfeeling vegetable! He's dead to me."

"You can't say that" She says in a shocked whisper.

"I just did. And 'm not going to see him. 'M grieving him, I'm moving on. Don't make me do that all over again"

"Chad. Chad, listen to me!" She hisses, holding me by my shoulder and shaking me. I look down at her and all I can see is a colourful blur. "Troy's woken up. He's out of his coma and he's very much alive."

**A/N: Yeah, I'm sorry it's so short! Oh and I don't actually know if you can slip into a coma for that long from alcohol poisioning, but I hope it's believable enough.**

**Sorry to say, I have a bit of a writers block coming on with the next chapter. So Troy's awake, what do you guys want to happen? Chad to forgive and forget? Or a more angstry ending? Oh yeah, the next chapter or the one after that will be the last, just to warn you. Reviews make this girl very happy and loved.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Wow I am so sorry about the wait, I had an attack of writers block, but thank you guys for sticking with me and for all the reviews in the absence. It means a lot. But I'll shut up now and let you read...**

Troy's awake. Troy's awake. Troy's _awake_ and there is nothing on this Earth that is going to stop me from seeing him. All the denial, everything I said before, was pushed right out of my mind the second I got the news. Hypocritical? Yes, but how could I even think of abandoning him? He's my best friend and has been for all my life.

Alright, so I may be slightly drunk and the nurses are giving me odd looks as I skid and slid down the annoyingly polished hospital corridors, almost falling flat on my face on several occasions. _But he's awake! _Get the hell out of my way if you know what's good for you.

He's awake and I have my best friend back. He's not going to die and I'm not going to have to live without him. I can barely hold back a gleeful shriek at the thought. I round the corner of the room where Troy has been living these past few months, and I've been here so often I know the way with my eyes closed. The nurse whose been watching over Troy nods and smiles knowingly at me, tilting her head in Troy's room direction. I attempt to smile back, but I think it turns out more like a grimace. My feet are unexpectedly glued to the floor before I can take a step, fear striking me like a bolt of lightening. I've been so geared up getting here, that I have no idea what I'm going to say, my tongue feeling like a dead weight in my mouth.

A high pitched laugh drifts through the air, reaching my ears and I know that laugh anywhere. My stomach drops to my feet and the fact that the room has started spinning has nothing to do with the alcohol I've consumed. My hands ball into fists as a deep anger I haven't felt in a long time bubbles up inside me. I am not afraid no more, and I march into the hospital room, my eyes narrowed at the bitch who was effectively the cause of all this. And she's draped over him like she owns him.

"What the hell are you doing here, Sharpay?" I growl, beyond pleasantries when it comes to her.

Her head snaps around and she fixes me with a glare which I return fiercely. "I came to see how my Troy's doing"

"_Your _Troy? Since when did he _belong _to you?"

Her trademark smirk appears on her pink glossy lips and there's a twinkle in her eye I don't like the look of. "Well, since he's not gay, he obviously doesn't want _you…_"

My finger nails dig into my palm as my fist tightens in an attempt to stop myself from hitting her right that second. "Shut the fuck up, Sharpay"

But she doesn't. She doesn't shut up because she knows she's getting to me, and I'm letting her do it. The anger is coursing through my veins and I'm mad, so mad at her. "He doesn't want you, _Chad_, so could you please stop moping around him like some love sick puppy…"

"Shut up."

Heavy breathing is only thing that can be heard in the suddenly all too quiet room. My gaze shifts from Sharpay's deadly glare and on to Troy for the first time. He's sitting up in bed, several pillows behind his head, propping him up, his hair deliciously dishevelled. He shifts slightly under my gaze, like he's nervous, his eyes conveying sorrow and distress. We stare at each other for a long while and I'm so happy I can finally see those blue eyes open at last. I thought I'd never see them again, never see them full of the emotion Troy could never express with words.

"Chad"

His voice breaks as my name slips from his tongue and I swear in all my life I have never heard such a beautiful sound. Never shall I take this for granted again.

Troy turns his head stiffly to Sharpay. "Could you please leave?"

Her mouth dramatically falls open, her gaze rapidly switching between us. "Oh my God, you _are_ actually gay" She breaths, and her expression darkens.

Troy's hand comes up and rubs feverishly at his forehead, something he always does when he's frustrated. "Look, it's really none of your business if I am or not, but I really need to speak to Chad, so just go."

"But-"

"Sharpay!" He snaps, startling her into silence. "I don't even know why you're here, last time I saw you, you were disgusted at me and I made it clear I wasn't interested in you anymore. So if you came here thinking we could get back together and that everything had suddenly become alright just because I was in a coma, I'm sorry, but you're seriously mistaken."

There is a heavy silence, then, "So, you're actually choosing Chad over _me_?"

"Yes, Sharpay, I really am. And I would do a thousand times over."

My breath catches in my throat at the intensity of his gaze.

"Fine" Sharpay gets to her feet, shoving her bag onto her shoulder. "_Fine._ I'll leave you to fuck your best friend. I hope your very unhappy together and I hope you both go to hell for it." The venom dripping from her words could have killed a man stone dead. I raise an amused eyebrow at Troy as she storms towards the door.

But she pauses and turns to add in a smug voice, "If you think I'll be keeping this…thing between you two a secret, then I think you'll find _you're _very much mistaken"

"Oh grow up, Sharpay"

And with a swish of her blonde hair and a clatter of heels, she is gone. I breathe a weary sigh of relief. Troy's looking at me admirably, a genuine smile tugging on his lips. It's infectious and I can't stop the smile from forming on my face. It finally sinks in properly; he's awake and moving! I cross the distance between us and envelop him into a bone crushing embrace. His skin is warm and smells of soap and anti sceptic spray; unusual for him but pleasant all the same.

"I missed you, man"

"I'm sorry" He croaks, and loosens his grip on me, reminding me we still have all the shit of the past few months to get through. I collaspe into the chair by his bedside. "I'm so sorry for everything."

I nod but I'm far from letting him off the hook. "Why'd you do it?"

He falters, his gaze falling to his clasped hands. "I thought I'd lost you. It started with a few drinks and escalated. I needed someone to stop me but no one could get through to me."

"So…if I had told you to stop, right from the start, would you have?"

"I don't know...I guess..."

My heart beat is pounding through my ears and my voice sounds so far away. "Then…all of this is…my fault?"

His eyes widen at my words. "Oh God, no, Chad! No. Don't blame yourself for this."

"If I had just got down from my high horse months ago, I could have stopped all this." The reality of it all comes crashing down around me. I'm so ashamed of myself, tears prickle in my eyes and I want to curl up in a ball and never have to show my face again.

He leans forwards, placing his hands on top of mine, his eyes swimming with tears and desperation. "Chad, please don't! Don't _ever_ blame yourself for this, ever! God, no, I'm so sorry, I brought this on myself." When I don't reply, he shifts closer to me. "It doesn't matter why now. I was stupid, I was reckless. I learnt my lesson now. You mean too damn much to me to risk loosing you again." His brow is furrowed with the intensity of the words he's speaking, something he only does when he means it. "I should just be thanking my lucky stars that you're even here, right?"

My gaze lifts but I still can't quite meet his. "Damn right."

Silence falls over us for a long moment, and I can feel his fingers trembling against mine. I glance up at him curiously and he pulls his hands away from mine, flustered. He can't bare to touch me, my stomach lurches at the sickening reality that my heart is going to get broken again.

"Chad, what I said to you last time I saw you…" He starts, confirming my fears and all the air is drawn from my lungs, like an invisible force has whacked me in the stomach. "Well, it was such a stupid thing to say. I mean, why should I give a damn about what people think of us? I know I screwed up big time but…I-I want to be with you, properly…uh if, if you want too?"


End file.
